Denak Kalamari
Intaki Liberation Front
Intaki Prosperity Initiative
1202
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Posted - 2014.02.25 06:22:00 -
[1] - Quote
Well, firstly you have the date all wrong, right now the year is YC116, which is 23356 AD.
Secondly, turning someone into a clone soldier in order to save their life is pointless. Cloning technology can be commonly accessed by anyone if they have enough money. The only difference is that while a normal person has to take regular scans of their brain to keep its info up-to-date, and even then the memory will have gaps if and when that clone is activated, a clone soldier's memory transfer is instant even at death. A more reasonable option would have been that the father purchased a clone, scanned his brain and then activated that clone when the son died for whatever reason.
And keep in mind, you are only "immortal" as long as you have access to clones. If your consciousness has nowhere to transfer to, you're as good as dead and all the effort to install the sleeper implant on you went to waste.
And the Caldari State has no leader, at least not after Tibus Heth's power was overthrown. The Caldari State has no government either, as all the megacorporations handle their own laws and policies. The closest equivalent to a government would be the Chief Executive Panel, which houses all the CEOs of the eight megacorporations in the State and they decide on what policies to have with their corporations.
And if you base this story on either Tibus Heth's reign or the CEP's, it's impossible regardless. No kid, or even adult would be turned to a clone soldier in this kind of way. They sign up for the program, where they do the preliminary training so you can handle the mental strain of the Sleeper implants, and then you get shoved into a clone and left like that. The CEOs of the megas don't meddle stuff like this directly, and thus having them involved like this is just silly.
Don't forget the fact that the clone soldier program haa only existed flr three years max. And being one of the very first dusters means that you're either an Amarr Templar, and should be dead, or a first generation clone who are all insane, who should have their implants upgraded or be dead. Kids just can't be a part of something like this.
The whole premise of the story seems wrong to me, about a man doing a faustian bargain with a Caldari executive in order to save his son's life. The Caldari State and its social structure is a complex thing due to the lack of a central government, and the story just gives me a wrong impression of what Caldari are.
With all that, and the fact that your grammar is atrocious, I have to be frank with you and say your story is sucks. You should refer the EVElopedia to make sure the lore of your story is correct and makes sense in the New Eden universe, and you can ask questions here if you don't want to search it all in EVElopedia.
Grahisha of ILF // Writer of Thoughts of a Clone Soldier // Latest entry published Feb. 10th
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